Do’s and Don’ts of What to Say if Your Friend Has Lost Their Job

Do

It’s always good to start with a simple statement of sympathy

“So sorry to hear”
“I’m sorry”
“Sorry you have to deal with this now”

followed by a question (or two), such as

• How are you doing?
• Did you have any idea this could happen?
• Is there anything I can do to help? or “What can I do to help?”

Listen to your friend.  If they don’t want to talk now, you can check in on them after a few days go by.

If your friend who lost their job is a co-worker who you only see at work, be sure to tell them that you are going to miss them and ask for a way to stay in touch.

If you’ve had some experience being out-of-work yourself, you may want to mention it, particularly if you struggled.  People need to know that everyone else isn’t gliding through life with one triumph after another.

Connect with your friend on LinkedIn (if you aren’t already).  It will increase their connections and credibility on LinkedIn.

Check on the person in a few weeks or a few months and ask them how ‘things are going’ or how they are doing. You are inquiring about them, not about their job prospects.  If they choose to share about their job search, praise their effort and ask if they want any feedback or help.

Don’t

Don’t patronize or expect the person to look on the bright side.  For someone who is worried, angry or sad, hearing things like “Everything happens for a reason.” or “I’m sure you’ll be FINE” or “Don’t feel bad” only makes things worse.

Don’t tell them you know how they feel (you don’t).

Bottom Line: If Your Friend Has Lost Their Job

If your friend has lost their job, it’s most important that you remind them that they still have you as a friend.  Job losses often come with losing a whole set of co-workers, acquaintances, office buddies.  Be empathetic and supportive and make sure that they know they still have you as a friend.

Read how valuable, one woman found her friends when she was out of work.