It’s no secret that there’s a stigma surrounding mental health. We talk about mental health, advocate for it, and ask for more resources, but it seems that we are fighting a long, hard battle. Depression, anxiety, PTSD – can make us feel hopeless in fighting for anything at all, as feelings of shame and guilt overcome us. We often feel shunned and we don’t believe we are worthy of help because someone else always has it way worse. I’m here to tell you that this is not a competition and your feelings are valid.

“What am I going to do?”  – a question with many connotations. You may have asked yourself this question over and over throughout the years, especially if you’ve faced career hardships. “How am I going to find another job?” “What am I good at?” “How can I score the job of my dreams?” “How will I afford to pay the bills?” “Will I ever be happy in a job that I like?”

The unease of being unemployed can keep you up at night in a panic and the mere sound of hearing someone else ask you these questions only increases your anxiety. Job searching can be a taxing activity in and of itself, especially when you don’t feel qualified, but factor in the state of your mental health and you’ll find yourself spiraling.

If what I just said hit home, you’re probably dealing with your own bouts of anxiety and depression, and if you’re unemployed, you know all too well that those feelings can hold you captive until you find something to keep you on steady ground.

As much as we hate to admit it, our mental health correlates with our employment status. Why is that?

You’ve probably experienced the racing thoughts, the shame spiral, and feelings of inadequacy. Whenever I start to feel this way, I take a step back and ponder why I am having such feelings. The truth of the matter is that society has drilled it into our heads from a young age that work should define who we are and determine our worth as human beings. I think it’s about time we squash that myth once and for all. It’s not healthy and it compromises so much more than we realize.

As a freelance writer (and let’s be real here, an idealistic human being), my mission is to cultivate a career I’m proud of. However, the notion of that ideal life isn’t always easy, especially when I’m asked that dreaded question: “So, what do you do?”

Imagine being asked that when you’re unemployed and haven’t had a steady income in over a year! I’m used to the questions and the looks I get whenever I tell people that I work from home as a freelancer, or that I’m a music writer with a website of my own.

The most asked questions I get are:

 “How do you actually make money from writing at home?”

“Why work from home when you could be in an office with a normal job like everyone else?”

Reason 1: There are plenty of work at home freelance opportunities available to pay you. You just have to be persistent and seek out the ones that interest you. Keep in mind that you may find yourself writing about things that don’t ignite a fire in you, but it builds character and it broadens your range.

I got my start writing for a well-known entertainment website in 2012. At the time I joined, the site was user-generated so I was lucky in the sense that I was able to build my platform by publishing my own content without someone telling me what to write about. As my work was often featured on the site’s homepage, I became a prominent name for the site. Once it went through staff changes years later, I was asked to become a freelancer – meaning all those years of hard work paid off as my efforts were being recognized…and I was being paid!

I’ve had mini writing hustles on the side before, but nothing compared to being that go-to person for music and entertainment features. As a young girl, I’d watch MTV and read tons of magazines religiously, but I never imagined I’d be doing all of that myself, just in a digital fashion.

Once the site went through more changes a couple of years later, the freedom I once had – along with the overall vibe of the site – began to take a nosedive. I was asked to write about things that once made me cringe when I’d see it elsewhere, but those are the breaks when media companies and their publications are fighting for likes and page views. I began to feel burnt out and uninspired. I certainly was not proud of myself. My time with them soon came to an end, but I don’t regret a single moment. It was a beautiful time and the learning experience is something I will take with me forever.

It was my time writing for that website that kickstarted my fire to start something of my own, so in 2015 I took the plunge and started my music site, The Daily Listening, and my anxiety has been on high alert ever since! Now don’t get me wrong! My site is my baby and I love it more than anything, but as anyone with a website can tell you, it’s not all sunshine and rainbows all the time.

Anyone in the music industry can tell you how misunderstood mental health is.

If you’re putting yourself out there in any way, you’re bound to encounter some nasty criticism. In this day and age, it seems to be easier to send someone hateful messages and gather up an army of people to gang up on you behind a screen than it is to send an encouraging tweet.

I’ve witnessed and have been the target of a lot of things that break my heart to this day, and I’d be lying if I said that it didn’t mess with my mental health. I’ve often thought about shutting everything down because the noise in my head – and from those around me – got so bad that it became overwhelming. But tough times build tough people and I think I’m enjoying myself more with my website today than I was five years ago when we launched! I will admit that there are times that I still don’t know what I’m doing but learning as you go is better than being stagnant!

If you’re just starting out, I will admit that writing about music – and owning your own website dedicated to it- isn’t the most lucrative genre of writing, but when you love music as much as I do, it’s more about the calling than anything else. I’ve been writing about music for eight years and I would have never gained the experience I have by waiting for someone to hire me. In fact, I think that if I didn’t take matters into my own hands, I wouldn’t have accomplished anything that I wanted to.

Reason 2: I’m an introvert and proud of it. I pride myself on having the self-discipline that I do, and I find that I work much better when I’m by myself without a million distractions going on around me. Plus, I absolutely cannot stand workplace drama. The further away I am from toxic environments, the better I feel overall.

I cannot even begin to tell you how many times people have tried to rope me into being like them. Being told over and over that there is something wrong with your dreams while no one takes what you do seriously can take a toll on your mental health, and if you’re a highly sensitive person like myself, that also plays a major factor.

We all have different paths in life and it’s ignorant to assume that everyone wants the same things or that everyone should go down the same path. How boring would that be?

However, due to the recent COVID-19 lockdowns, work as we know it – how and where we do it – has transformed. We are now seeing more and more people discovering that working from home either makes their lives easier or makes them want to return to the hustle and bustle as soon as possible. Either way, I think things are changing for the better and people are going to figure out what works best for them in the long run despite what they’ve been shown all their lives.

If I have learned one thing throughout my journey, it’s that depression and anxiety are liars. They’re two bullies who inhabit your mind and make you believe things that are not true. They’ll tell you you’re not worthy of your dream job or that you’ll never be good at anything you want to pursue. They’ll stop you from taking chances, leaving you in a period of stagnancy. I’ve found myself at this stage many times. The more I searched for jobs, the more insufficient I felt; the levels of experience and requirements found in job listings only had me beating myself up repeatedly, but it only takes one little spark of hope. That one tiny spark is all you need to find the courage to put yourself out there and hope for a ‘yes.’ For me, this article you’re reading right now was just that.

Take the time you need to figure out what you really want out of your career. It doesn’t matter if you work at a grocery store stocking shelves or if you’re working at a highly reputable company. If you’re giving your all to something, that means you care, and caring about your job is something to be proud of. Shove fear aside. As a matter of fact, tell it to shut up and go about your day being the badass that you are.

Apply for things your depression tells you you’re not qualified for. You might be surprised at what you have to offer after years of believing you’re not good enough. As for me, I’m working on myself every day. My mind is constantly changing, evolving, learning. We as human beings carry multitudes, and the faster we learn this, the more flexible we can become.

Mental health isn’t something you fix in a day. It is an ongoing battle with the mind. Some days are better than others and for some, most days are worse than others. The most important thing to remember is to be kind to yourself. Forgive yourself for the stagnancy your depression has left you in. You’re not alone. You’ve got this!

About the Author: Tina Roumeliotis is a freelance writer from New York. She is the founding editor of The Daily Listening – a no-nonsense music site dedicated to cultivating a community of music enthusiasts. Her writing has been featured on Buzznet, MTV, The Mighty, Introvert, Dear & more. You’ll most likely find her in her bedroom introverting with a pair of headphones. You can find her on Twitter @TinaTweetsAlot and on Instagram @tinaroum.